If you have children and are married to a Narcissist, especially one you are planning to leave, life can be exponentially more difficult. Here are some tips for helping your children through this difficult transition.
- Listen to your children and validate their feelings in the most positive way possible. Narcissist are known for nullifying feelings that are not their own. Your children need to know that they are heard, that their feelings are real, valid and they matter. You can do that for them!
- Narcissists are experts blaming others for whatever they feel is wrong or incomplete in their lives. They are masters of letting children (and you) know that “you made me do this”. Help your children, depending on their age and maturity know that this conduct is unfair to thechild, and the behavior of their parent is not their fault.
- Although it is true that the narcissistic parent is the other mother or father of your child do not demonize them in anyway. This can only make the child feel bad about themselves, as they are a creation of this parent. Depending on their age, try to help let them know this is not their destiny.
- Help your children develop empathy, as this is one of many things that drive a narcissistic parent. Also encourage resilience, as they may be knocked down many times and have your encouragement to help them back up.
- Be the calm parent in the relationship. Let them know that the issues between you and your ex do not define them in any way. Whenever possible, shield them from conflict.
Children are amazingly resilient, but it is a long difficult trail ahead of them. Do not blame yourself. Just be there for them.
