What to do if you can’t get along with your co-parent!
There is no doubt about it, divorce is difficult. However, post-divorce co-parenting can be just as difficult, especially if you and your ex ended the relationship at war with one another. Yet, you must somehow learn to make co-parenting work for the sake of your children. Here are some tips to make co-parenting with a contentious ex a little easier:
- Choose a means of communication that is the least confrontational;
You will have to communicate with your ex-spouse regarding many aspects of your children’s lives. While picking up the phone might be the quickest method of communication, it may not be the most prudent. Choosing to communicate via text messages or emails allow an opportunity to think and consider, and maybe even reconsider, before sending the message.Restricting all communication (or at least, all non-emergency communication) to written emails or texts can ameliorate some of the animosity which often erupts between exes during verbal exchanges. An added benefit is that you are producing a record of what has been discussed just in case there is a later disagreement over the contents of the conversation.
- Set Boundaries with yourex.
Limit your interactions with your ex to talking only about things that have to do with the children. Adopt a business-like (and respectful) attitude when dealing with your ex-spouse, the “business” being the wellbeing and care of the children. The only communication you need to have with each other should be those discussions necessary to your children’s upbringing. Assuming you have joint legal custody, you will have to discuss any major health, education, and general welfare issues regarding the children. Otherwise, the parent who is with the child(ren) at any given time can make all the day-to-day decisions in the child(ren)’s best interest.
- Avoid badmouthing your ex in front of the children.
Take the “high road”! While this may be difficult, especially when your ex is engaging in this type of behavior towards you, you can be the positive role model for your children. Also, your children will have lessemotional strife because they will not be “put in the middle”. Remember, your paramount concern is your children’s emotional wellbeing and stability. Although your ex’s behavior might be infuriating, do not let this affect your children. By badmouthing or trash talking your ex to your children you will be psychologically burdening your children with adult issues that can affect them negatively.
- If necessary, seek Court intervention
If your ex-spouse’s behavior is truly destructive and inalterable, you may need a family court judge to solve the dispute. Going to Court may be the best solution, especially if the children’s psychological or physical well-being is at risk. At Edens Law Group, our staff is highly trained and experienced in all areas of family law. We can help you achieve a successful coparenting arrangement either through mediation, by agreement, or if necessary, pursuing court intervention. Call or visit our website to set up a one-hour strategy session: 908 879 9499; www.edens-law.com
